


Redemption Is Not For People Like Us

by MarkTwain_Shit



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games), Rock Star Games
Genre: Best Friends, Betrayal, Dirty Talk, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, Graphic Description, Have some damn faith, I can’t even get homework done yet I did this, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Insecurity, Major Illness, Might be a little ooc but I’m trying y’all, Moral Dilemmas, Multi, Murder, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Racism, Period-Typical Sexism, Racist Language, Recreational Drug Use, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Slow Burn, Torture, Where are the mangos DUTCH, personal writings - Freeform, rat is short for Micah, will add more tags as I think of them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:08:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28608039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarkTwain_Shit/pseuds/MarkTwain_Shit
Summary: I’ve known Arthur since we were kids, bout 13-14 years now I think, I can’t really remember to be honest with you. Throughout all that time we became best friends, practically a team you could say, nothing could take that away. That was until the Blackwater heist and we went into the mountains, everything and everyone seemed to shift, and not for the better. I just hope we don’t forget why we started this or who really matters to us when we’re staring down the barrel of death. All I can say is, I hope it was worth all the pain.
Relationships: Abigail Roberts Marston/John Marston, Annabelle/Dutch van der Linde, Arthur Morgan & Original Female Character(s), Arthur Morgan/Original Female Character(s), Bessie Matthews & Hosea Matthews, Hosea Matthews & Dutch van der Linde & Original Character(s), Jake Adler/Sadie Adler, Jenny Kirk/Leonard "Lenny" Summers, Karen Jones/Sean MacGuire, Mac Callander/Original Female Character(s), Micah Bell & Original Female Character(s), Micah Bell/Original Female Character(s), Molly O'Shea/Dutch van der Linde, Sadie Adler/Original Female Character(s), Susan Grimshaw/Dutch van der Linde
Kudos: 5





	1. Barely Surviving

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everybody,  
> Just wanted to quickly say that this is something that has been brewing in the back of my mind for quite some time, I’ve just finally decided to actually write it down. This is just for my personal expression, I don’t plan on having regular updates, just when I have the time or feel like it. This is my own outlook with a character who I really fell in love with, and ARTHUR DESERVED BETTER!! If you love it, great, if not, don’t read. I’m not the best with spelling and punctuation but it’s not horrible either. Obviously don’t own anything besides my characters, the rest are unfortunate puppets I got my hand on(thanks rockstar)  
> Please enjoy and have a wonderful day!!

The wind stung my frozen skin as it howled through the trees, I could barely make out the sounds of laughter and music coming from the homestead Micah and I discovered in our scouting. I sent Micah to go ahead to get Dutch so that we could check it out, my gut was telling me something wasn’t right but I wouldn’t know for certain until the others arrived. The moment alone allowed me to recall the screams and gunshots just days ago, losing Jenny, and probably Davey now that we’re stuck in this battlefield of a storm. Sean and Mac are God knows where, while the rest of the gang hopefully found shelter in someplace they can at least warm their bones. The ‘easy’ job Micah so loved to refer to it as, did not go as planned, shocker. 

In the beginning everything felt like it was going smooth, until somehow Dutch ended up shooting a girl causing all hell to break loose on the boat. I remembered the feeling of dread watching a guard shoot Jenny when we were escaping, the girl's lifeless eyes staring at nothing as I tried to drag the young woman along but was yanked by Dutch to leave her. All the hard work and dedication, the years of saving money… it was all gone now. I didn’t let the others see it, but my heart was aching knowing we have to start over when we were so close to the dream we all had. It was a kick to the teeth that everyone felt, the others were losing hope of surviving, tension was high amongst the worried souls following us outlaws, I myself could see doubt in the eyes of some of the gang. 

“Dallas, my girl?! You out here?!” My head snapped up at the gruff voice of our leader. 

“Yeah old man, haven’t ran off on ya yet!” Turning my horse I faced where the voice had sounded, soon through the thick falling snow three figures emerged. “How’s Davey gettin’ along?” Maybe my earlier pessimistic outlook on the events would just be the stress getting to me. 

Dutch’s face shadowed as he dipped his head from the lanterns light he held, “Didn’t make it.” My eyes shifted to the figure saddled up next to Dutch, Arthur gave me a sorrowful look as Dutch spoke but it wasn’t like I was ignorant to the fact that his chances were thin. 

“That’s too bad,” I muttered to myself looking away down towards the homestead we had been scoping out earlier, “How’s everyone else?” 

Dutch rode up, stopping next to me, “They’re good for now, Arthur found an abandoned mining camp just up the hill. It ain’t much but we can't be picky.” He laid a heavy hand on my shoulder as if to give some reassurance, I returned a warm smile knowing Dutch was trying his best to take care of everyone. 

“Let’s get this done shall we?” The grating voice of Micah interrupted as he sat looking bored staring at the two of us. 

Dutch inclined his head slightly, “Try and make this fast so we can get back to the others,” he ushered our group by leading us behind a boulder giving them distance in case we needed it, “I’ll handle these nice folks, don’t want them getting spooked seeing four nasty looking degenerates.” Hitching the horses and grabbing our guns we made our way closer to the homestead, “alright let’s split up ,” Dutch waved his hand to the left, “Arthur, Micah, you two go hide yourself over by the cattle shed and wagon.” He then pointed just in front of the barn, “Dallas, I want you by that shed in case I need you close by.” 

“You sure bout that boss, I can take point.” Micah interjected.

“Oh don’t worry darlin’, Dutch knows who his best gun is,” I smiled giving him a hard pat on the shoulder, “and it sure as shit ain’t you princess.” I winked at Arthur knowing he was the one that held that spot. 

“Watch yourse-”

“Enough! Both of you,” he gave each of us a hard stare as if scolding children, “now go!” He pointed to each of our respective ways. 

Without talking back we both grumbled but did as told, once in position Dutch called out towards the homestead, I pulled out my rifle looking through the scope towards the house's front door. The wind was too loud to hear anything but muffled talking, yet the incessant tugging in my stomach told me things weren’t going well. Just as the thought crossed my mind one of the two men who exited the house was shot dead. No questions asked, I shot quickly disposing of two men who appeared running out from the other side of the cottage, in my peripherals I caught a glimpse of another man stumbling out of the building gun pointed at me but before he could shoot, my rifle echoed first. I scoffed as his knees buckled and he slammed face down in the snow clearly dead. 

There seemed to be no more as the others took care of them making the area eerily silent, “Micah bring the horses closer, Dallas check the barn for supplies, and Arthur, you come with me to check the cottage.” I threw my gun across my back letting out an exhausted breath, it felt like I was running on pure adrenaline these past days and I was starting to feel it. 

My steps lagged in the snow making me lean against the barn wall to catch my breath, “I gotta stop smokin’.” I hissed to myself after the small break. 

Sliding the barn door open I rushed to close it behind me trying to lock out the cold, a horse was stabled but seemed panicked as it reeled on its hind legs letting out a distressed whine. “Shhh, shh, it’s alr-” I hadn’t noticed while walking closer to the horse someone was in the barn until they jumped on my back from the small loft just above the entrance, a grunt was all I got out before the stranger threw a punch. My fight kicked in at that and I got to my feet just in time to block the next swing, it was a blur of body parts, curses, and threats as we fought. I got the upper hand though when I caught him on the chin with a nasty blow, he was disoriented when my hands fisted his coat holding him up. “Who are you?!” My voice strained from the stale air.

His head lulled a few times before he blearily blinked, giving him a few hard smacks seemed to clear him up a bit, “I ain’t nobody-”

This time I hit him with a closed fist, “Who are you?!” He groaned turning his bloodied mouth into a grimace. 

“I’m with the O’Driscoll’s.”

A laugh bubbled out of my throat, “oh boy, this just ain’t your night fella.” I dropped the man who seemed to have lost his will to fight, making things easy. I drew my sidearm from its holster, aiming it directly at his head. “What the hell y’all doin’ round here?” He glared up at me, spitting a chunk of blood at my feet.

“Colm said there’s a train coming through here with a lotta money, we're gonna rob it.” 

“Where’s the rest of your folks?” My thumb pulled the hammer down cocking it after he seemed silent on the subject, “I suggest ya answer the damn question if you would like to keep the ability to walk,” my gun now pressed against his kneecap making the limb shake once I made the threat clear. 

“The old mine site, just near the lake.” He spat the words as if each one was a tablespoon of salt.

“Colm up there with the lot of y’all?” I sighed once he didn’t answer again, holstering my gun I opted to grab the knife at my ankle, giving no time for begging, I slammed it to the hilt through the top of his thigh. His screams caused the horse to startle again, “now I asked ya a question partner,” I gave the knife a little twist making him reflexively reach to pull it out but I only swatted him away, “do I need to repeat the question for you cause ya do look a little on the slow side?” 

“No-no..no, plea-he’s, he’s there. Please, ju-just take it out!” He was barely keeping it together but I got the answers I needed. 

“Thanks, friend.” The knife came loose with a hard tug making a rather unpleasant squelching noise, the man was too shocked to notice the knife come closer until it slid across his throat. A hot mist sprayed over my face making me jump from the sting against my cold skin, with eyes still clenched I took my gloved hand wiping the liquid from blinding me. Now managing to open my eyes I looked over the blood that began sticking to my clothes and speckled my hair, sighing I knew I would be stuck like that till I was able to get a proper bath which is likely not in the near future. I dragged the body away from the stable so I was able to open the gate for the horse, my head snapped around however when I heard the barn door being slid open.

“Good lord woman,” Arthur came closer looking from the body and back to me, “you know ya can’t never keep things simple.” He shook his head with a smile.

Rolling my eyes, I huff pushing the body the rest of the way, “oh naw, I didn't need help or nothin’.” My tone filled with sarcasm as I stood dusting the hay that stuck to my sheep chaps.

“Looked like ya had it,” he crossed his arms looking smug, “besides who am I to stand in a lady’s way?” 

It drew a smile to my lips, “Here make yourself useful for once,” I unlatched the gate calming the still timid horse, my hands wrapped around the reins coaxing the creature to come out, “take ‘em out there with the rest while I search round here for supplies.” 

Arthur narrowed his eyes, “A ‘please’ would be nice.”

My lips still covered in blood curved into a sweet smile holding the reins out to him, “you've known me for damn near fourteen years, I ain’t nice.” My smile disappeared tucking the leather strap into his folded arms before going about to look for more supplies. I heard him grumple behind me, “I’m sorry, what was that?” 

“Nothin’, ya damn slave driver!” 

I laughed knowing we both liked to push the other one's temper, Arthur had always been so damn mopey; which is why messing with him lightens up my day and brings a smile to his face more often than not. My search turned up nothing making me a bit more sour due to current circumstances, leaving the barn I abruptly stopped, “Jesus shit, what in the hell happened!?” My arms stretched out at my sides seeing the cottage ablaze with Dutch bringing out a poor shivering woman. 

“Ask Micah!” Arthur spat the man's name as his voice cracked. 

The man in question mounted his horse with an air of calmness, “Ain't my fault the broad tried stabbing me.” He rested his hand over his saddle's horn as if he hadn't a care in the world.

Arthur pointed an accusatory finger at him, “Only because you were terrorizin’ the lady, ya lunatic!” 

“I told ya we should’ve left the rat whe-” I began but didn't get far.

“Enough!” Dutch bellowed, effectively silencing all of us. “We have been on the move for days now, our people are hungry, cold, and tired. The last thing we need is fighting amongst ourselves,” he gave each of us a hard stare, “you are adults and a part of my family. I love each of you, but if you don't get it together we won't make it out of these hills.” The tone of his voice made me feel guilty because I should know better than to be adding to the stress, Arthur at least had the decency to look slightly remorseful. 

“You're right boss,” Micah always the suck-up, “I’m sorry.”

“Kiss ass.” I muttered instinctively.

“Miss Rebel!” Dutch shouted obviously on his last leg of patience, I knew I was in trouble when he used my last name, “Enough.” He spoke softer this time making me incline my head in understanding.

“That was the last one, swear.” I held my hands up innocently. Dutch turned his attention from me to the woman Arthur had helped up onto Dutch's horse earlier, Arthur moved to stand by me. 

“Good one,” He whispered in my ear giving my shoulder a playful shove with his elbow, “Don't even know why Dutch would bring him along with us, knowin’ we got the women and Jack.”

We both stood side by side looking on as Dutch calmed the woman, “Yeah I’m just waitin’ for the day he slips up,” I glared over at the blonde outlaw who was already staring at back at me, “I’d just love to dangle his ass over a swamp pit and watch the gators fight over ‘em.” 

“I’ll bring the rope.” Arthur muttered before he went to unhitch his horse. 

I hated Micah with a burning passion and he knew it, our staring contest had yet to end knowing whoever looked away first would lose the petty battle. Dutch hadn't even introduced Micah to me before I already knew he was a snake, the way he looked at folks, how he had to find a soft spot on everyone so he could pick at them, or when he would make himself seem holier than thou to Dutch. The two of us together was like oil and water, no matter how much you stir we won't mix. Arthur felt the same which is why Dutch kept us away from the blonde man, together me and Arthur were opposite in many ways but the opposition allowed us to help with one another’s weaknesses. Arthur was better with controlling his anger and thinking about the better choices; myself, not so much. But Arthur helped me over the years coming to an understanding and making me take a breath once in a while and letting me know that he always has my back. 

“Dallas!” 

My head swiveled to Dutch who was now mounted, “Huh?”

“Did you hear me?” A sheepish smile gave him the answer, he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “I said, could you please look around a bit for John before returning to camp? If you can't find him in thirty minutes just head on back.” He waited with an expectant look.

I whistled my horse and jumped up on his back, “You got it, but I doubt I’ll be able to find jackshit in this weather.” 

“Just do your best,” A final note to his tone, “Arthur you ride back with me,” Arthur grunted in acknowledgement “Micah make sure you bury that poor fella in the wagon.” 

“You got it Dutch.” Micah dismounted and made his way over to the wagon which held the stiff body of the woman's husband. I wasn’t going to waste anymore time waiting around for the storm to cover any tracks I might find of Johns, giving my horse a kick he trotted along. 

“Stay safe.” Arthur grabbed my arm in passing giving me a look of warning from under his hat.

I smiled giving him a wink, “Don’t worry darlin’ I’ll be back for dinner.” He shoved me as if irritated but the smirk he had said otherwise. With a mock salute to my friend I turned, “Come on boy!” My voice loud as I dug my spurs just deep enough to get him on a steady run. The lantern I had barely illuminated three feet in front of me, Dutch was delusional if he thought I could track John in this nightmare. A solid hour had past of me not seeing anything which was more time than Dutch warned me to take, but I managed to get a few leads yet they went nowhere. It was time to call it quits for now so I made my way back to the mine camp Dutch mentioned, but through the wind a loud whine sounded nearby. “Stay here Bo, I’ll be right back,” I patted the side of my horse's neck before sliding off the saddle and strapping a shotgun across my shoulder. 

The snow crunched under each step I took closer to the noise, “Marston?!” I called out, “John!? Is that you, ya son of a bitch?!” Holding the lantern with one hand and the other on the trigger of the gun I moved slowly taking deliberate steps so as not to get my feet caught in the deep snowfall. The whine was now much more obvious to be a horse, but I could see it wasn’t Johns, “whoa there girl,” the horse nearly blended in with the white of the blizzard, the poor thing looked to have its front right leg stuck under the compacted snow. “Shhh, shh, it’s ok,” strapping the gun back over my shoulder, I came closer making it whine louder but as the minutes ticked by the creature didn’t perceive me as a threat. Up close I could see the scared creature was stuck on something hidden by the snow, my hands became raw after I started digging through the frozen mush, with a few hard tugs and curses I was able to get the leg loose from two rocks. 

I fell on my ass when the horse reared back but the trample I expected to take place didn’t happen, squinting my eyes slowly open seeing the horse standing over me, now nosing my exposed face. “Good girl,” I muttered half thankful the horse didn’t stomp me, “Come on let’s get ya outta this mess.” Bocephus was none too happy when I brought over the new mare, “oh hush, ya stubborn bastard.” I chastised him as he nipped my ear while I tied the other horse to his line, I might not of found my dumbass missing companion but I did find a good mount. The ride back was slow but when I made it to the small compound I let out a tired sigh ready for some sleep, “no, no, quit bitin’ your bridle.” I spoke harshly to my stubborn steed when I began taking off his gear, he huffed in my face blowing my hat off. 

I made sure the new horse had hay and water before I left. “Bocephus stop,” I reprimanded the big horse as he threw a fit when I tried to leave him, “I’m not stayin’ ya spoiled shit.” He knocked his head against mine knowing it always got me to stay with him a bit longer. “Fine, but I ain’t givin’ you no treats in the morn.” The horse seemed excited as he nudged me closer before laying down, I laid beside him holding his head in my lap while I rested against a pile of hay. “Spoiled brat is what you are,” I whispered to him as I brushed my hand through his mane, “you’re lucky you’re cute.” I leaned over giving him a few kisses, eventually my hand that brushed him stilled, my eyes closed, and my breathing evened into a smooth soft snore.


	2. Hide and Seek

“AHHH!!!” I yelled as I was abruptly shaken by a strong hand, “What in the hell is your god damn problem?!” My voice harsh as I stared up at my best friend as he glared down at me, anger evident in the harsh lines of his face.

“Ya know how long I been lookin’ for ya,” he yelled back just as angry as I had, “I thought your dumbass got caught up in the storm cause ain't no one seen ya since last night!” He tossed his arms out in a sweeping gesture to emphasize his point.

I sat up from my prone position looking up as the irritation grew, “Excuse the shit outta me,” Arthur stood his ground as I stood to my non impressive height where the top of my head only came mid chest to him, “I ain’t your responsibility to be bustin’ your ass for.” 

He scoffeed “Really?” The question was obviously rhetorical, “ya know good and well you’d be actin’ the same way if I pulled this kinda shit.” 

“I would be more logical than scarin’ the sin outta ya!” 

He pursed his lips under the thick beard currently covered in small flakes of snow, “I been ridin’ round for a good hour lookin’ for ya before I got worried enough to come back and get help.” 

“Why the hell didn’t ya check the barn first, ya woulda seen my horse stabled?” 

Arthur leaned down closer near nose to nose, “That's why I’m in here,” he practically growled back through gritted teeth, “just so happens the person I thought was dead, was passed out in the horses feed!” His chest heaved as puffs of clouds steamed from his breath against the frigged air. 

I didn't miss the concern etched into his face, “Aww Arthur,” I cooed, grabbing his shoulder, “was you worried bout me?” My smile sly as my anger grew to amusement, Arthur huffed pushing my hand away.

“See if I ever do somethin’ for ya again-” He went to turn but I grabbed him before he got too far.

“Oh come on,” Arthur avoiding me by staring off to the side, I felt kinda bad he was so worried about me so I did the right thing, “your right, I’m sorry.” I held my hands up in surrender, Arthur flicked his tired eyes to me as I caught his attention. “I should have checked in, and I’m sorry that I didn’t.” His head slowly turned to me as he dropped his crossed arms letting out a deep breath staring at me for a moment as he shook his head.

“Your lucky I’m in a forgivin’ mood.” He stated matter of factly letting his posture relax.

I rolled my eyes, “Well, consider me honored.” My tone was sarcastic as I held a hand to my chest in a half ass salute. 

“Do ya always have to be a smart ass?”

“Do ya always have to be so damn sour?”

We were quiet as we kept our eyes trained on one another, Arthur was the first to break the contact when his name was being yelled from outside the stables. “We’ll finish this discussion later.” He left no room for questions.

I chuckled “I’d be disappointed if we didn’t.” he was always the one to make sure the two of them were on the same page of things. With one last warning look he sent me, he turned leaving most likely to see what was needed of him. I took a moment to shake the cold from my bones, I still had yet to tell Dutch of what I found out from that O'Driscoll in the barn last night. The weather wasn’t near as bad as it was but it was enough to make me wrap my coat around myself tighter, there was hardly anyone outside other than those on watch and Pearson by an empty fire pit drinking. You could practically feel the tension among the group, everyone so lost in their worries that the air just seemed uneasy. Slipping my gloves on and placing my hat on my head I made my way out in search of our leader, knowing him he was likely somewhere staring hard into nothing as his mind worked on what we needed to be doing in order to keep everyone alive and away from the law. I asked Javier who was warming himself by a small fire if he knew where Dutch was, he pointed with a slightly shaky finger towards a cabin just off to the right of us. 

The cabin itself was near empty with a few exceptions of some chairs and a couple of bunks, but in the middle of it sat Dutch alone puffing on his cigar as he stared at the fire dancing in the hearth. He seemed to snap out of himself when I took the empty seat beside him stretching out my short legs, “I was wondering when you were gonna show up, Arthur’s been beside himself ever since you didn't check in last night.” The air around us thick with smoke as he exhaled a deep breath. 

I let out a sigh, “I know, he damn near tanned my hide when he found me.”

Dutch snickered, “That boy is always so worried about everyone but himself.”

“That’s cause it’s my job to be worried bout him.” I leaned forward trying to warm myself better. 

“And it’s my job to be worried about everyone here, so please next time just make sure you tell someone when you come back.” He sounded tired, much different than the strong facade he had put on his face. “Now on top of worrying about folks here, we have O’Driscolls to be concerned with as well.” Flicking his hand he sent the ashes of his cigar to flutter slowly on the floor between us.

I perked up a bit at the mention of O’Driscolls, “Speakin’ of those boys, I found out some information bout why they’re here, and where their group is held up at.” Dutch turned now facing more towards me as if to say he was listening, “When ya had me check the barn last night, one them bastards tried to jump me, literally, he came flyin’ out from the loft landin’ right smack on my head,” unconsciously I rubbed my neck where a soreness now radiated, “anyway...” I cleared my throat continuing, “I got a few questions out of ‘em before I took care of him. Said he and a dozen others of them were held up at an old minin’ site just southwest of Lake Isabella, I checked the map, it’s called Ewing Basin.”

Standing now, Dutch began to pace back and forth. “What in the hell could they be doing all the way out in the Grizzlies?” He seemed to ask himself as a hand went to rub at his chin.

I looked up at him with a smile, “Fella said they was gonna be robbin’ a train, some poor businessman named Leviticus Cornwall.” Dutch coming to a sudden stop as he looked down at me, “That aint the best part though,” he raised his brow at that while a shit eating smirk took over my face, “Colm, he’s up there with ‘em.” 

Dutch now taking his seat in stunned silence staring at me with wonder, “You're sure about this?” He asked in a deep tone putting his head down so he was looking at me under the brim of his hat. 

“I had my knife hilt deep in the son of a bitches leg,” my retort held a strong conviction, “trust me. He was telllin’ the truth.” 

Dutch sat silent for a few moments taking in the information, “I..I think,” he started but paused a few seconds, “I think I need some time to process this, come up with a plan.” Another long pause before he looked at me again, I could feel the warmth of his hand through the layer of clothing I wore as he settled it on my shoulder, “Thank you my girl, this, this just might be the break we need in order to get out of here.” 

I took his hand in my own giving it a comforting squeeze “Don’t worry Dutch, no matter what comes, I’ll be standin’ right beside ya. I trust you,” my tone softer now, “everyone here trust’s you. It’s time ya start trustin’ yourself too.” With one last pat on his hand I stood ready to see if I could get some food in my belly. 

“I don’t say this as much as I should,” mid stride to the door I stilled her steps, “if you and Arthur weren’t here, I don’t know what I’d do. Thank you, truly thank you.” Turning slightly so I was looking at him from the corner of my eye I caught sight of a soft sincere smile.

Facing forward once more, I spoke as I opened the door, “Naw Dutch, thank you. Ya believed in me when I didn’t, that ain’t somethin’ I’ve paid back yet.” The door softly clicking as I left before anymore could be said, it was always nice to speak with Dutch. He spoke in a way that just made people want to listen and I was hanging on every word sometimes, he always made me see things in perspectives I never would have. He took people that no one else had any hope for and made them feel priceless, he gave purpose when folks didn’t have one, but most of all he made me and many others feel like having a family was possible. In a small way he reminded me of my father, a man who was resilient and made the people around him feel the same way. It’s the main reason my father was so good at bringing people together with just his words, he built his own gang doing exactly the same as Dutch and Hosea had. I was confident Dutch would figure out something, like he said, we just need some time to recover and rest before we can get back to having some sense of normalcy. 

I swept the thoughts to the side as I approached the camp cook, “Pearson, I hope we have more than just rum, I haven’t eaten since yesterday mornin’.” The man himself was already halfway through a bottle, his bloodshot eyes lazily glaced my way before looking back to the bottle in his hands. 

“Got some Offal, but that's about it.” He slurred out raising his head.

I gagged, “Jesus, I’d rather eat my own hand first.” He only offered a shrug in return, “pfft, aint no one went huntin’ yet?” He shook his head taking a swig of his drink.

“Everybody’s hungry, you're not the only one who hasn't eaten.” I hadn’t missed the condescending tone he used. 

A snarl lined my lips, “Ya wanna try that again, Pearson?” I watched as he swallowed nervously, blinking somewhat as if to clear the alcohol’s haze.

“A-All I meant was that uh…” He seemed to be drawing a blank, I rolled my eyes snatching the bottle from his loose grip and taking a swig for myself.

After a grimace I was able to get the liquid down and felt as it warmed everything, “Relax, I’m just tired and irritable.” His tense posture relaxed some as I handed back the rum, “I’ll go out, see if I can’t find us somethin’ to fill our bellies.” 

“Much appreciated Miss Rebel, it would put smiles on a lot of folks faces.” 

Waving him off I made my way to the stable, the horse I had found last night seemed to become a little restless as it trotted in place. A short ride would help to expend its energy so I saddled the horse for the hunting trip, “Where you goin’?” 

I turned to see Arthur approach with Javier in toe behind him, “Pearson said we need food, so yours truly gets the great pleasure of bumblin’ about in this shit weather to feed us.” Returning my attention to the horse Arthur joined my side.

“You and me both, Hosea asked that I go see if I can’t find John.” He crossed his arms and his brows scrunched in irritation. 

I let go of the reins and leaned on the horse's side looking at my friend, “Go easy on him would ya?” I knew Arthur held animosity towards John for leaving the gang, but it's been a few years since then and I thinks it’s time to let it go.

“His whole life ain’t been nothin’ but easy,” he tossed his arms out, “besides he probably kept ridin’ North for all we know, ain’t like he hasn't before.” 

I took a step closer wrapping my arm around his waist since I couldn’t reach his shoulders, “How’s bout this,” Arthur in return placed his arm around my shoulders, “when ya bring him back, I’ll hold him down while you fart on the little bastard, just like we used to do when he was younger.” 

Hearing him laugh made me feel better, “Yeah or lasso ‘em up and dangle him from a tree, I’m sure he’s still small enough for a branch to hold him.” We laughed in unison tossing our heads back.

“Are you two done yet?” Javier came over already saddled up looking down at the both of us as we were still giggling like two school children. 

“Alright, s’pose I should get out there before the weather decides to turn to shit.” Arthur gave me a small squeeze before dropping his arm as he went to join Javier.

My attention went back to Javier, “Watch out for him, will ya?” I flicked her head in Arthurs direction.

Javier let out a small laugh, “As long as you promise to bring dinner back.”

I bowed slightly, “I promise nothin’ less than a feast fit for kings.” 

“I think a deer will do just fine, but I won’t complain if there's more.”

“You shouldn’t have to go huntin’, we can just eat Micah.” Arthur stated as he rode up next to Javier.

I grimaced slightly, “Yeah, think I'll pass. I’m not a fan of rat.” We all enjoyed one last laugh together before going in our separate ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://youtu.be/IiLz5OinyJs 
> 
> Listened to this while I wrote


	3. A little hope goes a long way

“So you were just gonna, what?! Not tell me bout this?!” Arthur gestured to the dead bodies of O’Driscolls scattered around us, I took a short glance around us before looking back to Arthur. 

“It was Dutch’s call Arthur, besides ya been worrin’ yourself enough these past few weeks.”

He shook his head scoffing, “That ain’t never stopped ya before.”

“Maybe you're finally rubbin’ off on me or maybe I’ve noticed the sleepless nights you been havin’ lately.” 

His face dropped to something indifferent, “But it’s ok that you carry all this on yourself?” His eyes changed darker as his tone grew more serious, “Ya promised me, remember?” He looked down at me.

Reluctantly I nodded my head, “I know Arthur, it’s just…” I paused looking for the right words, “we’ve all been through hell and I, just for once, wanted to not have ya burden yourself like usual.” He let out a deep breath before patting one of my shoulders, I felt guilt swell in my chest watching the stress eat at him.

Arthur was right however, we made a promise and I needed to honor it. “I guess it’s better I hadn’t known bout it, mighta tried to talk Dutch out of it.” He commented looking around us as if to emphasize his point.

“I know, but I doubt it.” In unison our eyes locked on our leader, he and Micah were currently looking over the plans Colm had for the train robbery. “You and I both know anythin’ that has to do with Colm, Dutch will find a way to involve himself.” 

Arthur looked back at me once more, “I’m worried bout him more than anyone at this point,” I nodded my head in agreement, “he was the one to always say vengeance is a fool's game. Now look us, ass deep in O’Driscoll blood.” 

We stood there silently watching as the others went about looting, “Do ya think robbin’ this train is such a good idea? I mean, don’t get me wrong.” I splayed my hands against my chest, “I love robbin’ just as much as the next outlaw, but we already got enough heat on us. Why risk addin’ more?” 

“I think he’s gettin’ desperate to get outta these hills,” Arthur wrung his gloved hands together as a gust of wind rolled by, “he’s promised a lot to these folks and if he can’t make good on that, people are gonna start to question his ability to lead.” 

“That or he’s hopin’ for a chance to run into Colm.”

“Maybe, but I think this is more than gettin’ back at that bastard.” His voice lowered as Williamson passed us, giving us a suspicious glance, “We lost everythin’ after Blackwater, we ain’t got so much as coins to rub together at this point.”

I knew how hard it was to just start over, so when Arthur’s face dropped in anger I didn’t blame him. “We’ll find a way to get to where we was, we always do.” I laid a hand on his shoulder, he took a deep breath looking down at his boots.

“Just feels like shit goin’ back to nothin’, ya know?”

My hand moved to rub his back in a comforting gesture, “The world's shit Arthur, but it’s our job to make sure we don’t drown in it.” He looked over at me pausing for a moment.

“Well Marston’s screwed.”

My shoulder began to shake as a laugh bubbled it’s way out until I was bent over wheezing, “Ain’t no truer words spoken,” I managed after my fit, “boy can barely survive on his own, still can’t believe he was near mauled by them wolves.” 

He chuckled, “I’m sure ol’ Scarface learned his lesson,” taking his hat off he swept back his hair before readjusting his hat back on his head, “and if he ain’t, I’m sure that woman of his will give him second thoughts.” 

Just as I was going to reply, a strong voice beat me to it, “If you two are quite finished, the rest of us would like to get out of this cold.” Turning we saw all the other’s mounted up and ready to go, Dutch had a smirk on his face though, most likely because he was used to us distracting each other.

“Ain’t gotta tell me twice, I’m sure my ass has fallen off in this cold.” I replied as I saddled up.

“I could help ya warm it back up.”

Once settled I turned to the man who just commented, “I’d honestly rather let a bear maul me slowly to death before I’d let ya touch me.” Micah chuckled with his disturbing laugh as he rode up beside me.

“It’s alright sweetheart, deny it all you want. I know you ain’t had a mans touch in a mighty long time.”

As he leaned closer to me, I matched him only leaving a foot between their horses. “My touch does me better than any man ever could.” I bellowed a laugh holding my stomach as I saw his eyes blow wide, mouth part slightly, and face turn a darker shade of red. “Who knew, big bad Micah Bell could blush?” I Mocked as I rode past him not missing his face snapping in anger. As my laugh died down I could hear Dutch calling from the head of the group, maneuvering around the others I made my way to him where opposite of him was Arthur. “What’s goin’ on Dutch?”

My question seemed to amuse him as he cracked a smile, “Arthur and I were just discussing you.” 

“I thought I felt my ears burnin’, couldn’t hardly tell in this weather.”

“We were saying how this wouldn’t of been possible if you had killed that feller upfront instead of talking to him first.” I nodded following along as he elaborated, “You know we’re both real proud of you, you’ve come a long way from how you was and it shows my dear.”

My chest warmed at the comment knowing Dutch wasn’t just fluffing my feathers, “Thank ya Dutch, but it wouldn’t’ve been possible without Arthur naggin’ me to think before I act.” 

“Wait, ya actually listenin’ to what I say?” Arthur feigned being touched, “Well I never thought I’d see the day.”

“I’m surprised ya can see shit with all that squintin’ you do.” I returned.

Dutch chuckled beside me as Arthur made a display to roll his eyes, “This comin’ from a woman who can’t reach the top shelf.” I fake laughed before holding my hand up shooting him the bird. “Oh, how very lady-like.”

“I ain’t never claimed to be much of a lady.”

He smirked, “That right?” It was rhetorical but I amused him anyhow.

“That's right,” I said matter of factly, “because I’m all woman, baby.”

He laughed when I gave him a wink and an over exaggerated sultry look, “Well who am I to say otherwise?” We both chuckled once our banter had ended.

Not even five minutes later a horse and rider emerged in front of our group, I watched as Dutch narrowed his eyes, his head flicked from Arthur to me, “That’s, that O’Driscoll Colm was yelling at.” Soon as the words left his mouth the man in question turned on his heel and was trying to high tail it away from us. “Arthur, Dallas, I want you to go get him.” Simultaneously the we spurred our horses, “And bring him back alive when you come back to camp!” He bellowed before out of earshot, Arthur took the lead as I followed just behind. The man obviously wasn’t used to navigating through this kind of terrain as they both watched his horse slide to the ground after a sharp turn, I spurred past Arthur in hopes of getting to the man before he decided to try running. The lasso at my side was released and I used all my concentration on my target, the man had just turned to look when the rope hugged him tightly pulling him off his feet and into the snow. 

“Dallas, tie ‘em up before the son of a bitch tries anthin’!” Arthur was riding up just in time as I got the shaking man down on his face.

“Pl-Please don’t hurt me.” He repeated as I made sure to secure him tightly.

“Stop wigglin’!” I growled at him as he made it near impossible to get him on my shoulder, he got the message after my fist slammed into his side causing him to gasp in pain. 

“Here, I’ll get him up on your horse for ya.”

Arthur approached me walking past my breathless figure and placing the trembling man over his shoulder, “For an O’Driscoll he seems kinda…” my eyes studied the man as he was placed behind me, “scared.”

Arthur smirked up at me as he tied their new hostage down, “If I was in his place, I’m sure I’d be a little worried.” The man yelped as Arthur tightened the bonds before getting on his horse once more.

“Wonder what Dutch wants with him, not usual that we bring folks back alive.”

I was grabbing the reins of the extra horse as I heard Arthur speak, “At this point I ain’t sure what's runnin’ through Dutch’s head, he ain’t exactly been actin’ his usual self.”

As we rode side by side we made sure to keep close, “I’m only worried, cause Hosea’s worried.” My comment obviously not a one sided agreement as Arthur inclined his head, “They seem to be disagreein’ more and more these days.”

“Yeah and my feelin’ is that slug Micah has somethin’ to do with it,” Arthur sneered at the name, “always whisperin’ in Dutch’s ear and causin’ trouble between everyone.”

“I wouldn’t be too worried bout Micah, he’s all talk and Dutch ain’t that gullible.”

“Really?” He questioned, “He was able to talk him into the Blackwater job, what’s to say he ain’t gonna pull somethin’ like that again?”

I heard the concern and anger in his voice but I couldn’t blame him. “Well if I know one thing, it’s that Dutch is gonna try to do his best for us. For all of us.” I gave him a comforting smile hoping he’ll see the good side of the situation.

“I know, I know,” a somber bartone hit his voice, “it’s just…” he sighed looking over at her with his brows taunt, “it’s just, we were so close and too lose it all makes me feel like I’m gettin’ too old for this shit.”

A laugh bubbled out of me, “That’s because ya are old,” he gave a deadpan stare making me laugh once more, “but so am I. Yet this world keeps spinin’, and that means we ain’t gotta choice Arthur.” 

“Believe me, I know. It’s just exhaustin’ when you’ve been doin’ it long as we have.”

I couldn’t agree more, “Ya know I’ve always got your back right?” 

“Course I do.” He said with the utmost conviction giving me a questioning glance. 

“Then ya ain’t got nothin’ to worry bout,” My posture straight and head held high proudly, “so long as I’m with you, ain’t nothin’ gonna bring ya down.”

I could feel Arthur’s stare from across the small gap between us, he looked like he wanted to say something but thought better of it and just cleared his throat looking ahead. “I don’t mean to interrupt,” I turned my head slightly to the man tied up behind me, “but where ya takin’ me?”

“Somewhere ya ain’t gonna like!” Arthur shouted to him, “What’s your name boy?”

“I don’t know.” He sounded panicked.

It amused me as I cracked a smile, “Ya don’t know your name?”

He sputtered for a moment before getting himself together, “Kieran, Kieran Duffy.”

“Well Kieran, I’m gonna be honest with ya. You have gotta be one of the most unluckiest bastards in this mountain as of now.” Arthur couldn’t help the sarcastic comment as he watched the man squirm.

We looked at each other when we heard him whimper, “Why?! What are you gonna do to me?!”

I turned to him now looking in his eyes, “Somethin’ you ain’t gonna like, so I suggest ya save your breath for screamin’.”

If we paying more attention we’d see Kieran’s eyes grow wider and he looked as if at any moment he would faint, “I think I’m gonna puke.” He groaned leaning over slightly.

I sat up further from the man who was turning green, “Ya better not puke on me or my horse, lest you wanna lose a couple fingers!” This entertained my friend greatly as he sat laughing on his horse. “Laugh it up asshole, next time your carryin’ the prick.” He only laughed more causing me to shake my head obviously not finding this predicament funny.

Kieran seemed to become more frantic as he started begging for his life, “Are you tryin’ to test me boy, is that it?!” Arthur was never one for whining, “Cause ya do know I’ll break every bone in your body, right?!”

“I-I’m sorry! I’m sorry...alright!” 

“Not one more damn word outta you, am I clear?!” 

Kieran nodded as best he could in his position, “okay, okay!”

Arthur scowled at him, “That's two bones right there!” After that though, the man stayed silent as if he was sitting in a church sermon. 

The ride stayed quiet as we approached camp, “Alright ya sack of shit, lets go introduce you to the boys.” I dismounted tying up the horse, “Boy you’re shakin’ worse than a whores bed on a busy night.” I grumbled as I pulled him over my shoulder, Arthur wasn’t far behind as he carried our weapons back with him. 

“Ple-Please don’t do this!”

“Oh, don’t worry. These boys are real nice.” Arthur teased him.

A figure opened the door to the cabin we were headed to, “Huh? Found the little shit, did you?”   
Dutch was clearly happy that we were able to get him back and still breathing. 

“Yep. We got him.” I tossed the O’Driscoll on the ground at Dutch’s feet.

“Good job you two.” He dipped his hat to us as we standed side by side waiting to see what Dutch planned next. Dutch nudged the prone figure with his boot, “Welcome to your new home…” We laughed as we watched the man cower from Dutch, “hope you're real happy here.” Dutch waved me back over to pick him up.

My boots crunched as I came closer lifting the man to stand and face him towards Dutch, “Ya want me to make him talk?” I asked, keeping a tight hold on our new addition.

Shaking his head Dutch came closer, “Oh no, all we’ll get now is lies.” The stare Dutch gave Kieran was enough to tell me he had plans for him, “Uncle! Mr. Williamson! Take this maggot and tie him up somewhere safe.” The boys who were standing at the door now joined us as they took Kieran from my grasp. “We get him hungry first.” Dutch fiddled with his gloves watching as the man struggled against his restraints, “I got a saying, my friend...” out leader now uncomfortably close to the man, “We shoot fellers as need shooting, save fellers as need saving, and feed ‘em as need feeding.” The group sat silent a few seconds, “We’re gonna find out what you need.” Dutch ended on a dark note, fear blossoming in the man's eyes, just then Dutch let a small laugh out, turning from the display,”I can’t believe it, an O’Driscoll in my camp.” 

“I ain’t no O’Driscoll, Mister! I hate that fella!”

Dutch feigned understanding, “Oh, whatever you say, son.” As he way dragged away Dutch turned his attention to his Arthur and I, “Ya both did real good.” He stated before making his way back to the cabin.

“Were just sorry we missed out on Colm.” Arthur replied.

“Oh, there’s time enough for that. For now, I gotta figure out if we can hit that train.” Dutch closed the door leaving the us standing alone.

“Well, ya want to come to my room and talk?” 

Arthur looked down at me, I just shrugged. “Sure, ain’t doin’ shit else.” The two of us were quiet as we disappeared into a cabin. My last thoughts were feeling like things were turning around for the group and I could see that Arthur was feeling less pressure now that the day had been handled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m trying to make Arthur seem like he can talk more to Dallas because they’ve known one another for a loooong time, so if he seems a bit more open it’s because I figured he’d be a bit more trusting with someone who’s never left the gang or his side(kinda like what’ he writes in his journal but not as personal). 
> 
> Song inspiration- https://youtu.be/X7WA8Z3gbdo


	4. Already starting trouble

I was breathing heavy as I cleared the last of the supplies from my wagon, the cold still felt like it was ingrained in my muscles as they burned from the lack of the sun's rays. Horseshoe Overlook, it was to be our new home until Dutch figured out their next plan. It was hidden by dense trees and thick foliage near the train tracks leading through the Heartlands, and the beautiful scene on the edge of camp showing the Dakota River almost made me feel as if I was staring at a priceless painting. It felt good to be out of the snow, I had never been keen on the cold, specially since I was born and raised in the bayou of Louisiana. Taking a seat on a nearby crate I pulled a pouch from my breast pocket, enjoying the sounds of the breeze I rolled a smoke stuffing the green buds into the thin paper before licking it closed and sticking it between my lips. My eyes roaming around the camp as I watched the others go about fixing everything in it’s proper place, Grimshaw's voice echoed loudly around the small site making my mouth curl into a smile knowing the girls were on the verge of murder. 

As the smoke filled my lungs my eyes drifted to nothing as I recalled the past days getting here, the train we had robbed went well for the most part, could have gone better if Bill set the charges properly like he was supposed to. Arthur and Lenny were able to jump on the moving train and stop it so we could catch up, it was a flurry of bullets and shouting as men poured from the railcars but they weren’t ready for outlaws like us. Nothing was really left except for a few men in the last car which had nowhere to go as we blew the doors off, it was a relief to hear we had found the bonds Dutch was talking about, I didn’t want another dead end. All that was left was moving now that the snow melted enough for the wagons to pass through, Hosea apparently knew about this spot from his younger days with Bessie and it was much more nicer than I had anticipated but as long as it wasn’t in snow, I wasn’t complaining. Just then I broke from my spell when a groan came out of Marston passing me to his tent off the side, “John, what in the hell ya doin’ up?” My voice reprimanding as I eyed his healing face.

The man in question turned to me looking half awake, “I’m goin’ to lay down, been gettin’ dizzy.” 

I threw what was left of my cigarette to the ground stepping on it as I stood to join his side, “Why don’t ya come lay down in my wagon, it’ll be quieter in there.”

He gave a small smile as he flinched from the wound still healing just near his eye, “Well, you do have that fancy gypsy wagon,” he mumbled looking behind me at said wagon, “yeah I guess. It’s better than sleepin’ on the ground.” 

I shook my head grabbing his bicep to help steady him, “It’s called a vardo dumbass, and it ain’t fancy.”

He scoffed as I lead him up the small steps and in the door, he groaned as he sat down on the bed before stretching to lie down, “I forgot how nice an actual bed was,” he commented while I helped him remove his shoes, “it smells weird in here.”

I huffed at the comment, “I know, I gotta replace these plants,” she pointed above them where a few dozen dry plants hung, “I was gonna take Jackie boy to help me, I know how much he likes pickin’ flowers.” 

John rolled his eyes, “The boy don’t need to be pickin’ flowers.”

“Considerin’ who his father is, someone's gotta teach the boy bout survivin’ off the land.”

John looked away from me as I sat in a chair beside the bed, “Can we please not talk bout this now, I already get enough of it from Abigail.”

I held my hands up, “Not my business to be tellin’ you nothin’, just lookin’ out for the boy s’all.” 

“It’s appreciated,” He replied tiredly, “if you don't mind, I’d like to get some sleep.”

I stood giving him a wave as I stepped out closing the door behind me, I went about finding Abigail in hopes of getting Jack out of camp for a bit. “Oh there ya are,” I spoke seeing the woman sitting on the edge of camp sewing one of John’s shirt, “I was wonderin’ if ya wouldn’t mind if I took Jackie out for a bit.” 

Abigail’s face lit up, “Of course, he’s just sittin’ in the tent right now.”

“Great, I’ll make sure to keep him close so you ain’t gotta worry.” Abigail nodded as she went back to work, I made my way to where I could see Jack sitting with a stick in hand. “Jack, ya wanna go for a ride?” The boy turned already jumping up in excitement.

“Yeah, what’re we gonna go?” He asked as he placed his hands in my much more rough hands, swinging his arm.

“I gotta pick some ingredients, but I couldn’t do it without my helper.”

My smile soft watching as his innocent eyes looked up in wonder, “I could find mama some pretty flowers, she likes it when I give her flowers.” 

I hoisted him onto the saddle as I grabbed the reins, “I bet she does because ya always pick the best ones.” Getting my boot in the stir-ups I lifted myself to sit behind him. 

“Oh, maybe I should get some for uncle Arthur. I saw the one he keeps by his bed.” His little voice was so sweet as he placed his little hands over my own that held the horn.

“I’m sure your uncle would love that,” I snickered at an idea that popped into my mind, “ya know he does like to wear them in his hair, so you should make him one of your crowns.”

The boy gasped, “Really? I didn’t know that.”

I just chuckled, “Yep, and he really loves the pink ones.” 

Jack squirmed excitedly as he spoke, “I’ll make him one to match mama’s.” He then began to drum his fingers against my hand as if he couldn’t wait, I only smiled knowing Arthur is going to ring my neck for this.

We rode for another five minutes or so before I found a good wide open space full of flowers and herbs, “Alright Jackie,” I grumbled as I lifted and set him down on the ground, “just stay where I can see ya, ok?” 

He was already running but I heard his acknowledgement before he got too far, I knew things at camp weren’t that fun for a child his age so whenever I got the chance I always took him out. Arthur loved to comment on my softer side I have for children, he would tease me about the small voice I would use to talk to Jack when he was a baby. Same went for him though, because he never told the boy no. If Jack wanted a piggy back ride Arthur couldn’t deny him, if Jack wanted sweets Arthur brought back handfuls of sweets from the store, and if Jack wanted to cuddle, Arthur would pick him up and set him in his lap holding the boy even as he would fall asleep against him. It’s partly why Arthur holds a grudge against John, he up and disappeared the whole first year of Jack's life, leaving Abigail alone with the boy to look after. After Isaac, Arthur saw things differently, so to see Marston just abandon Jack, he held a lot of hate for what John was leaving behind. Arthur would spend nights up with me just letting his anger out, talking about what a shit person John was for leaving all of them, for leaving Jack. Arthur didn’t say it, but I knew he was more hurt than angry, he was just too stubborn to say it outright. John was like our little brother, for a time even I didn’t want anything to do with him when he first came back but as time went on I let it go, Arthur however, didn’t.

I could understand though, when Arthur had come back to camp the night he found out about Eliza and Isaac he headed straight for the bottle and disappeared inside his tent. I found him red face, tears staining his cheeks, the usual strong eyes were so hopeless I could feel the pain behind them. I sat beside him and we drank together, Arthur talking about what a failure he was. I listened for hours even as the sun came and went, I sat there never leaving as he poured his heart out, he hated himself so much back then that the only thing keeping him from an early grave was me. All the jobs we went on he was hell bent on getting himself killed, I even took a few bullets because of his negligence making him pull his shit together for everyone's sake. It was customary that Arthur would find me late in the nights and in silence we would sit in one another's company, he hated to ask me but I knew he just needed someone to let it all out to, someone to not talk but just listen. I understood pain, I understood pain can make people feel weak so they hide it, but when it came to my friend I wouldn't allow him that. 

Now there’s not a whole lot that’s a secret between us, we made that promise to one another after the incident making it so that we would never be alone. I have my own demons that lurk in my head and hang on mind, we never talked about it around the others or when we were just hanging out through the day, we reserved that for nights it was just us. Hosea even used to joke that he thought we were glued together from our growing closeness, yet he encouraged it because he cared deeply for the two of us. Even now that we're older and grown into something different from our younger days, the relationship only grew stronger for us. I wiped my brow from the sweat forming there, my mind always seemed to wander to Arthur lately. I’m worried he’s going down a path of keeping himself from happiness, it makes me hurt knowing he still can’t find it in himself to think he’s worth more than just a burnt out criminal. I knew I had to do something soon before he gets too far into that dark place, maybe this time I won’t be able to bring him back and that scares me. 

He was his own man however, so there was little I could do other than offer my support for him. “Jackie boy, ya ready?!” I shouted, now finished picking the plants I needed. 

He came running from the tall grass, his arms holding the flowers he picked. “Look, I made one for mama.” He held up a yellow flower crown, then held up his other arm. “And this one’s for uncle Arthur.” Sure enough they were the brightest pink flowers I’d seen, giving his hair a ruffle I smiled.

“I think ya might have to start sellin’ those, they look priceless to me.” 

He beamed the brightest smile at me, “I can help the camp too.” He squealed excitingly as I lifted him up on Bocephus, “Mama won’t have to work.” 

“That’s right, you’d be able to take care of all of us.” 

He nodded as if agreeing, I clicked my tongue setting the horse into a trot back to camp. We had just arrived when Dutch seemed to be finishing up one of his speeches, I caught sight of Hosea which means Arthur must be back as well. As soon as Jack's feet hit the ground he ran off disappearing into the camp, I went about unsaddling Bo to brush him down. “I’m guessin’ this is your doin’?” 

I turned slightly seeing Arthur, I let out a bellowing laugh seeing his sour expression as he tried to hide the flower crown under his hat. “Oh, ain’t you just the prettiest peach on the tree.” I barely got out between laughs. 

Arthur shoved me, “You're an ass.” 

“Guess that makes us two of a kind.” 

Arthur barely contained his displeasure as he shot me a venomous glare, “I hate you.” He growled still fiddling with his hat, I rolled my eyes before reaching up and taking his hat using it to replace the one on my head. 

“Ya love me sweetheart,” I winked making Arthur stand crossing his arms looking bored as ever, “besides Jack made that just for you, so quit actin’ like someone shit in your boots.” 

He snatched his hat back setting it over the flowers hiding them, “Just remember, I know your ass is a heavy sleeper,” he smiled smugly as he wiggles his eyebrows, “would be a shame if somethin’ got loose in your wagon.” 

My own eyes narrowed, “I’ll have Pearson put cream in the coffee, have you shitin’ for days.” My victorious smile matched his.

“I guess we’ll have to see then.” Arthur challenged leaning closer.

I leaned even closer, “I guess so pretty boy.” The two of us stared a moment longer before I broke first, “it was a joke ya old bastard. Ya know, funny?” 

“I know what a joke is, I’m friends with you ain’t I?” He quipped back.

I mocked offended, “That hurt my feelin’s.” 

He raised a brow smirking, “Didn’t know ya hand any.” Biting my lip to keep from smiling I looked away “Oh is that crickets I hear?” He cupped a hand behind his ear smiling as I shook my head, “Your gettin’ slow in your old age.” He commented patting my back.

“I ain’t slow,” I pushed his hands off me, “I’m just tired from draggin’ your ass along.” 

“It’s a tie then.” He held his hand out, I acted as if thinking about it but finally relented, his hand slightly clammy from the warm weather but still felt like the rough pads I was used to. 

“If you’ll excuse me, I gotta saddle up and head into town cause some of us actually work round here.” 

Arthur crossed his arms leaning back slightly watching me, “I was just headed there with Uncle and the girls, ya want a ride?” 

I grunted tossing the heavy saddle to drape over my new horse, “naw, gotta take this pretty lady here to get some shoes on her.” Squatting I reached under the horse looking for the straps before tying them down. 

“She is mighty fine,” He murmured, petting the white mane running down the horses neck, “never asked where ya found her at.” 

“When Dutch had me lookin’ for Marston, found her instead,” I patted the mare's side, “foot got caught between stones and I didn’t want to leave her behind.” 

Arthur still had his hands in the horse's mane, “You could probably sell her for a good price, not a bad idea gettin’ some money for the camp.” 

I shook her head, “Naw, I wanna train her a bit, maybe let Jackie ride her since she’s small.” 

“You spoil that boy.” his voice light as he let go of the horse leaning back to look up at me.

“I’m not the only one.” I flicked his hat off his head showing the flower crown, he grumbled bending over and recovering his hat. 

“Why don’t ya get outta here, already givin’ me a damn headache.” 

“Anythin’ for you darlin’.” Tipping my hat I nudged the horses side bolting out of the camp, the ride gave me time to roll another bud cigarette, they helped make the pain in my back dull to nothing. Ever since I got shot about three years ago, it's the only thing that helps keeps the pain from becoming a nuisance, it was thanks to an Indian I met who introduced me to it. 

As the horse trotted along I could see the town of Valentine emerge in the distance, it was smaller than most but it still made me sneer, we were trying to get away from civilization not head directly into it. A hot bath however sounded like heaven right about now, I hadn’t had a proper one in weeks besides the cold creeks and rivers the gang had passed. A man was kind enough to tell me where the stables were, the stable owner was surprised however when I brought the horse in, going on about what a fine mare she was and if I was willing to sell. I politely declined before he took the horse from me saying the shoes should only take about a half hour, I figured it would give me time to get a meal and a drink, the saloon was only a ways a away. 

“Help the poor! Donate today, and help your fellow man! Miss-Miss,” I stopped as I felt a hand on my shoulder, “could I ask of you to donate today?” The thin sickly man looked desperate as he still held my shirt sleeve.

“Ain’t my job to be givin’ money to the unfortunate.” I pulled my arm from him continuing on my way, I passed a few rough looking men who voiced their appreciation for my passing by them, but there were also glares at the clothes I wore, nothing new since men always seem to think a woman wearing pants was needing to be put in her place, that is until I have my rifle pointed under their nose. 

My eyes took a moment to adjust to the darkness of the saloon, “Look what the cat dragged in.” I snapped my stare to the corner where Javier, Charles, and Arthur stood.

Arthur was already holding a shot out for me as I joined them, “How the hell ya get here before me?” I questioned Arthur slamming the whiskey with a grimace.

He chuckled patting my back roughly, “I made the trip fast since I was stuck between Uncle’s babblin’ and the girls gossipin’.” I watched as he downed another shot.

I greeted my other companions, “You gotta get used to it Charles, I’m a hugger.” The big man sighed opening his arms to accept my hug, “See, now was that so hard?” He grumbled but didn’t say anything, “Javier, my beautiful mexican man.” I happily announced as he pulled me into a tight hug.

“Good to see you, Hermosa.” He kept an arm around me as they all took another round of drinks. 

“Where’s Bill, thought that mammoth was supposed to be here?” As the words left my mouth our attention was taken by a loud scuffle just by the entrance, sure enough it was our other companion already starting fights.

The saloon was in an uproar as people stood up and started fighting the nearest person, I grabbed a vacant bottle on the bar top slamming it over the head of the man who choked Bill from behind, dropping him instantly. My victory was short lived as I was hauled in the air and slammed on the ground, a long groan escaped me but as I recovered noticing someone's boot swung at my stomach yet I caught it and yanked the asshole off his feet. In an instant I was over him slamming my fist against his face feeling the splatter of blood seeping from his busted nose, one last powerful hit and the man was snoring knocked out. I might be tiny but my stocky build and muscled arms gave me an advantage, not only was I quick, I was just as strong as some men. The sound of glass shattering caught my attention, a gaping hole was now in the front window of the saloon and a mountain of a man was making his way outside. Getting to my feet I followed, a crowd forming as the man approached a prone form who I could see was Arthur from his boots, the rest of him was covered in mud. I saw the bigger man looming over him and my fight kicked back in, “I don’t think so asshole!” I shouted jumping from the steps onto his back, I hit hard as I hung from his back “That's. My. Friend.” Each word accompanied by a hit I gave to his head, in my haze of fighting I didn’t see him duck his head before lurching it back, nailing me right in the face. 

I landed heavily as the blow made me see spots, the taste of iron assaulted my mouth as I spat a mouthful of blood out. Suddenly I was lifted and dangled in the air, my eyes went wide seeing I was looking into the very eyes of the man who just laid me out. “Don’t put your goddamn hands on her!” A strong voice to the side of us bellowed, a fist connected with my assailants face making him drop me once more. I could see the blob of two people rolling around on the ground, taking a breath, I got my bearing watching Arthur on top of the man beating him into the ground with a violence I hadn’t seen him use in quite some time. The fight was broken up when the man who asked me for donations earlier broke them apart in begging pleas to stop, Arthur’s chest heaved as he stood looking like a pig that had a good time in some mud. My head fell back against the wet ground as I felt my face begin to throb and my body ache, “Ya still kickin’?” Arthur asked now standing above me, he grabbed my collar pulling me up and steadying me with an arm wrapped around my waist. 

“How’s my nose? Still straight? It's my best feature.” I looked up at my friend who looked as beat as I felt.

He chuckled, “Yeah, your nose is fine. There is the matter of that nasty lookin’ gash on your lip however.” His finger prodded the split flesh making me hiss.

Tired, I leaned into him more as I felt exhausted, “I ain’t worried bout it, never been a looker anyhow.” He lead us to sit on the stoop just beside the general store. 

“Yeah, me either.” We sat in silence, shoulders pressed together as Arthur rested his head on my dirty shoulder. 

“You two making friends again?” The both of us looked up into the eyes of Trelawny looking dapper as usual.

“Look who we found slinking about.” Dutch beside the Englishman, gestured to him. 

I was the first to respond, “Well, well,” I hummed giving Josiah a once over, “What? Was New York too small for your taste or somethin’?” The man in question bowed.

“Of course not dear, it is that I just missed your beauty.”

I snorted but winced as my ribs burned in protest, “Always the charmer.” Arthur murmured before looking up at him, “How you been doin’?”

“Well.” Trelawny straightened his coat answering, “Quite well indeed.” A pause took over the group for a moment, “I went to find you gentlemen in Blackwater,” he cleared his throat looking at me, “and ladies,” I waved him off obviously not caring, “You're not very popular it seems.” Arthur and myself looked at each other before looking back to Josiah, “Ah Javier and Charles...I've missed you, and Bill looking as well as can be. Gentlemen, always a pleasure.” The trio joined the four of us. 

“Your right, we ain’t too popular in Blackwater.” Dutch spoke, gaining the group's attention.

“We left a lotta money back there.” Arthur pointed out with a sour look.

“And young Sean it seems.” 

“Sean?” I stood up, “Ya found him?” I asked with hope in my voice.

“Yes, and he’s being held by some bounty hunters trying to see how much the government will pay them. I know for certain he’s in Blackwater…the only problem is they’re moving him soon.” 

“If we step foot in Blackwater,” Arthur huffed as he stood, “we’re all dead.”

“If he's alive we gotta try.”

Arthur laid a hand on my shoulder, “Of course, but—”

“There’ll be Pinkertons all over the place…”

“It’s you they want, Dutch.” Trelawny injected.

“It always is.” Dutch turned to Charles, “Charles, go find out what you can, carefully.” He emphasized ‘carefully’. “Josiah, take Javier.” The three went off on there given jobs, “Arthur, Dallas, go get yourselves cleaned up. After that Arthur, you join the others when you’re ready. Dallas, go back to camp. I have something for you there.”

Arthur agreed, going to a barrel of water just off to the side, “Why ain’t I goin’?”

“Because we need a level head for this, and I know how you get trigger happy.”

I scoffed in irritation, “I can shoot the wings off a damn fly from 1,000 yards off, they wouldn’t even see me and I could protect the guys. ‘Sides I been doin’ better, even you said that.” 

Dutch pointed a finger at me, “The answer is no, now get yourself clean lest you want Grimshaw on you when you head back to camp.” 

“Dut-”

“Not another word Miss Rebel.” He turned his back to me as he walked on with Bill arguing with him over not receiving a job.

“This is fuckin’ bullshit.” I kicked the dirt pacing as my hands settled on my hips.

“Don’t worry bout it none, Dutch just wants things to stay as quiet as possible.”

Arthur stopped me by grabbing my arm, “Dutch can kiss my ass!” I shouted in the direction of our leader who shot me a glare in warning.

“Look, we’ll be in and out like we wasn’t even there.”

“No Arthur, it’s bullshit! He let’s that lunatic Micah go on all the jobs and now suddenly, I’m the trigger happy one, fuck that!” 

I’m sure you could practically feel the anger radiating off me as I curse to myself, “Ya done yet?”

“NO!” 

He held his hands up, “Just make things easy alright, and do what he says. We got enough drama spreadin’ through the camp as it is.”

“Whatever...fuckin’ need a break anyhow.” I stopped my pacing looking to my friend, “Just be careful, because then I’ll really show Dutch what trigger happy is.”

Arthur sighed pulling me in a half hug, “We don't want that happenin’ now do we?”

“Maybe.” I grumbled still not done being mad, Arthur only shook his head having a small smile peak through the dirt still on his face.

“Ya always been stubborn.”

I pulled back looking up at him “Like I said, two of a kind.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For my character I decided to make her a little buffer considering she does just as much labor as the men and heavy lifting(bounties, animals, fighting), I based it off this image of Abby from The Last Of Us Part 2 https://pin.it/5cHjoH0 
> 
> Also I felt it’s important to have the character reflect on what’s happening so I have small moments where Dallas’ wonders and she lets what she’s thinking known. 
> 
> Song inspiration - https://youtu.be/28YQowZ0cvI


	5. A grizzly encounter

“Oh, no, I wasn’t readin’ that at all.” My voice flat as I watched Arthur toss the paper I was nose deep into the fire, he took a seat beside me on the log. “Jesus, you look like shit. What in the hell happened to ya?” I questioned now fully looking over his tousled clothes that had mud stains and his shoulder length hair that had small twigs and leaves caught in it. 

“Was huntin’ a bear with Hosea, we both damn near became it’s next meal.” He rested his elbows against his thighs leaning over as he held his face in his hands.

“Your tellin’ me a bear got the best of you?”

“No,” he sat straight looking at me, and using the most sarcastic tone he replied, “I just fancy lookin’ like I rolled round in the dirt.” 

I chuckled, “Someone’s a little touchy.” 

“I ain’t ‘touchy’,” He mocked, “I was mauled and eaten by a Grizzly while all ya can say is I’m touchy.”

I was surprised by his snappy tone but it didn’t deter me, “Well, I’m sorry you had to Bear that.” I could barely keep a straight face as I sputtered watching him give me his best glare.

“You ain’t half as funny as ya think ya are.”

I reached over putting my hand on his shoulder as if to comfort him, but the shit eating grin I wore spoke otherwise. “Ain’t no need to get moody. I understand ya went through a Grizzly experience.” I couldn’t contain the howling laughter any longer, my head tossed back slapping his leg during my fit all the while Arthur looked like was ready to shoot me right then and there. 

“Why, oh why, are we friends?” 

I grabbed my stomach as it ached, I was able to get it together after wiping the tears away. “Who else would put up with your sour ass?” I retorted, pinching his cheek.

Arthur pulled away from my prying fingers, “More like, who the hell would put up with you?” 

“Fair enough,” I shrugged knowing he wasn’t wrong, I always was a handful, “I think we do the camp a service by dealin’ with each other.”

He bumped his shoulder against mine, giving a good-natured pat to my back, “S’pose so.”

I sat beside him for a few moments longer before standing, I stretched letting out an obnoxiously loud groan that earned a poke to the stomach from Arthur, “Where you goin’?” He questioned as he hurriedly stood to follow after me.

“Dutch said he wanted to talk, so I figured it was a good excuse to get the hell away from you.” My lighthearted tone made it clear I was joking but Arthur still frowed.

“What for? Thought he had you on somethin’ else.”

“Why do you think imma go talk to him?”

Arthur heaved a deep breath, “And you say I’m moody.”

“Maybe it’s somethin’ in the air,” I waved a hand about giving him a wondrous expression, “or maybe your just rubbin’ off on me.”

“Is all you do, complain?”

“Is all you do, pout?” 

“Ah,” The two had been distracted by each other not noticing Dutch watching the pair of us until he stepped out from his tent, “Somehow I knew you two would be together, but as of now I’m going to need a moment alone with Miss Rebel.” Dutch pointedly looked at Arthur, making the cowboy hesitate before leaving the two us with a slight nod.

“What’s goin’ on Dutch?” I asked as I stuck a toothpick in my mouth chewing on it.

He pulled me into his tent, “I need you to take the O’Driscoll up to Sixpoint Cabin, say’s Colm and a few boys are held up there, but I need this done quietly so as not to draw attention to ourselves.”

I laughed, “Think it’s a little late for that.” Dutch wasn’t impressed by the comment as he pursed his lips, I sighed unsheathing my knife, “You want it done silent, it’ll get done silent.” 

A sinister smile crept over Dutch’s face, “Just make sure if you can’t bring Colm in alive, give him what he deserves.”

“Oh, trust me.” My voice holding a promise, “I still owe the son of a bitch for what he did to my face.” Gritting my teeth and squeezing the hilt of my knife tighter, I could already feel my adrenaline spike in anticipation. 

His eyes traced the long scar going from my hairline all the way down over my right eye that circled round my cheek. “That’s why I’m sending you, and I know you’ll get the job done, you always do.” His eyes had hallowed as if he was lost in a memory, a second later he laid his hand on my shoulder giving it a tight squeeze, “Don’t get yourself hurt either, I want you to get John and Bill to go with you, I already told them to expect you.” 

“You got it, Dutch.” 

I headed towards my wagon, Charles was sitting on my bed cutting feathers for his arrows, “Ya seen my holster belt, can’t find…ah thank you.” I smiled brightly as he pulled it from behind him handing it over to me. With my sidearms situated I grabbed my long scope rifle so I could see what we were walking into from a distance, then my bow because I was doing as Dutch said and going in quiet. 

“Going somewhere?” His deep voice louder in the enclosed space.

“Just got a job to deal with, should be back in a bit.” 

“Need any help?” 

“Naw, Bill and Marston are comin’ with, but if ya want you can add some logs to that wood stove if it gets colder later.”

I was given a rare smile from the usually stoic man, “I should be done soon, won’t be that long.” 

I had my attention on buckling my belt around my waist, it hung slightly crooked just under my wide hips. “Take your time, I know camp can be a little loud sometimes.” People in the camp would often wander to my wagon for it’s seclusion from others, it’s the reason why my door was never locked, it’s not like I was ever really in camp anyways. Before I left I grabbed my hat and double checked all my guns making sure they were loaded, and had enough arrows, satisfied I went to get the O’Driscoll who was still tied to the tree. 

“You try anythin’ boy, and Bill’s gelding tongs will seem a mercy to what I’ll do to ya.” I warned the man who in question swallowed nervously as I stood behind him cutting his binds. 

“Where you takin’ me?” He stammered as I pushed him along to the horses calling for John and Bill.

“We’re gonna pay your friends a little visit, maybe even see your ol’ pal, Colm.” My smile stretched seeing his panicked face twitch.

“He ain’t my friend…” a knife to his throat in seconds cut his sentence short.

Bill and John had just joined us, “I don’t give a good goddamned what he is to ya, all I care about is gettin’ the bastard. We clear?” He nodded carefully, still aware of the blade resting just under his adams-apple. “Now, get your ass up on the horse, the sooner we get done the quicker you’ll get your freedom.” I wrinkled my nose as he mounted behind me, “Jesus, you smell like fresh shit.” That earned a laugh from my companions. 

“It ain’t my fault, ya…”

I whipped my pistol out pointing it at him, “I’d like to hear those directions, now.” My tone holding no patience, he cowered slightly but wrapped his arms around my middle telling me the way. 

(Time Skip: A Few Hours Later)

Riding back into camp I could tell most people had retired to their tents or bedrolls, the only ones I could see up were Uncle, Bill, and John who sat near the fire passing a bottle between them; I would’ve been here sooner with the boys but I had a few things to do before coming back. I slid from the horse hissing as my shoulder jolted, “I can take a look at that if you want?” I barely managed not to roll my eyes at Kieran who made himself a spot near the hitching post, damn near gave me a heart attack creeping up on me.

“I’m fine, thank you.” I spoke through clenched teeth, “There’s a bed roll in my wagon, under the bed. Take that, it’s better than whatever the hell that is.” Waving my hand at what looked to be a thin canvas roll. 

I needed some medical supplies for the bleeding cut going right across my collar bone over to my shoulder, Strauss was sleeping so I would have to care for it myself. Taking a seat at the table near the lanterns glow, I began to unbutton my blood soaked top throwing the garment on the table, I just ripped my union suit where the slash had already ruined the garment. Looking at the wound I knew I would need a few stitches, before that though it needed to be clean as not to risk infection. Popping the cap off the whiskey I downed a few gulps gagging from the bitter burn, I inhaled deeply closing my eyes preparing for pain, without putting too much thought into it I doused the angry red gash. Slamming the bottle on the table I was doubled over clenching my jaw and pouncing my knee until the sting ebbed away. Sitting up once more I took another deep breath, the worst was over, now all that was left was closing the wound. I took the curved needle between my bloody fingers, the deepest part of the cut was by my shoulder so that's where I placed the first stitch, I got two more done before the needle was taken from me.

“Ya should’ve come and got me.” The reprimanding voice of Arthur scolded me as he got down on one knee so he was eye level to my sitting form.

“Didn’t want to wake ya.” My usual strong tone was now nothing but a tired murmur, it definitely didn’t hurt this bad earlier. 

I felt as he prodded the wound, “I wasn’t sleepin’, was writin’ in my journal waitin’ for you.”

I bawled my fist as he threaded the needle through my skin, “Why? Ya need somethin’?”

“Not particularly, just wanted to know where Dutch sent you and the two most useless bastards, he wouldn’t tell me.” 

“Kieran told ‘em he knew where Colm was camped, wanted us to take care of it quietly.”

I saw his nostrils flare and brows furrow, “Son of a bitch, I’m gonna talk to him tomorrow…”

My hand landed on his shoulder, “No need to get all grumpy, I’m fine ain’t I.” 

His snapped his eyes to mine, “Well seein’ as I can see your muscles through this thing,” he pointedly gestured to my shoulder, “no ya ain’t fine. Where the hell was Williamson and Marston? ” 

“I’ve been needin’ a new scar,” my head held high, looking at him with a cheeky smile, “I was goin’ soft anyhow. ‘Sides the boys had their own shit to deal with, was a lot more of ‘em than we originally thought. ” 

“Why do I even bother? Your too keen on gettin’ yourself killed, watchin’ you is a full time job.” 

“Ain’t got much to live for anyhow. It’s not like I deserve anythin’ more than a bullet to the head or a rope round my neck.” My eyes were focused on the bottle of whiskey I was fiddling with.

“Don’t.” I looked to Arthur who had grew deadly serious, “Don’t you dare say somethin’ so stupid again.” He growled as his eyes pierced right through me, his bloody hand gripped my knee in a tight vice. 

It was the whiskey I had drank, I always do become more forthcoming when tipsy, and drinking on an empty stomach like mine, it’s bound to be stronger than normal. “It’s like my daddy said, livin’ the life we do Arthur. We’ll either die by the gun or the hangman’s noose, ain’t nothin’ else.” Another deep swig of the amber liquid had me shake my head.

“Your daddy ain’t wrong, but don’t go throwin’ yourself in front of no bullets, it’s a cowards way outta this shitty world.” 

“I honestly don’t care at this point, I’ve outlived my mama and daddy, that’s good ‘nough for me—hey!” Arthur snatched the bottle from me before I could drink down any more, I groaned in pain when I forgot about my arm as I reached for him.

“I hope that hurt, ya deserved it.” He threw the bottle over the cliff that the camp sat upon, “Enough drinkin’ for you, now get up before someone sees ya like this.” He gripped my good arm hauling me to my feet, “Might wanna cover up, don’t want to be givin’ no one a free show.” I looked down seeing my shirt had fallen down exposing my bound chest.

“Shit.” I muttered pulling the tattered clothing as best I could, “Ya didn’t see nothin’.” 

Arthur cracked a smile, “You forget, it ain’t nothin’ I haven’t seen before.” 

I raised a finger, “That was one time,” I defended making him chuckle, “and it wasn’t my fault that fire ants got in my clothes.” 

“Ya sat on a nest, I’d say it was all your fault.” 

“A little sympathy would be nice, I was arrested for indecent exposure.”

He ceased up, chortling, “I ain’t gonna lie, I forgot bout that part.” His shoulders shaking while he covered his mouth trying to keep his laughter quiet, “I still can’t believe ya ran straight into town jumpin’ in a horses water trough.” The pair of us entered my wagon, it was nice and warm from the embers still burning in the wood stove. I took my hair down letting the blonde waves cascade down my back, my fingers scraped over my scalp humming as I did so. Next thing to go was my belt holster, I gave it no mind as I tossed it on a chair, “I’ll be right back gonna grab some food for ya.” Arthur dipped out of the small door giving me the opportunity to redress.

Careful of my shoulder I undressed, slipping on a white thermal and loose warm pants, just in time too as Arthur reappeared closing the door behind him. He handed me a bowl of hot stew and some bread making his way past me to flop on my bed stretching out his legs as he wiggled himself a small spot. I was already hoofing down the bland stew scraping the bowl with the bread as I finished, “Ya know there’s a thing called chewin’, right?” My mouth was full as I scowled at him.

Swallowing the mouthful I flipped him off making him turn his attention to the book I had resting on my pillow, “When are ya headin’ out to Blackwater? Thought you was s’pose to meet up with Javier and Josiah.” I heard the bed squeak as he rolled on his side watching me as I added logs to the dying fire.

“I haven’t gotten word that they're ready yet, so…” 

“No wonder you’ve been lazin’ bout here lately.” 

“Yep, it’s hard bein’ me. Figured I should try your lifestyle for a change.” 

My smile slipped down, “It seems ya got me confused with Uncle or Bill, cause last time I checked I was the one takin’ out a whole O’Driscoll camp...practically on my own.” I muttered remembering the other two took their sweet time 

“Oh yeah, ya ain’t told me the whole story to that yet. Come on sunshine, take a seat.” He patted the empty spot opposite of him, I entertained him as I crawled up beside his form sprawling out in hopes of annoying him. 

Success, on my part. Arthur grumbled tossing my arm off his face and nudging my small leg off his knees, “Well, now that I’m comfortable.” I wiggled more than necessary, making him glower down at me, “Like I said earlier, was a whole hell of a lot more of ‘em than anticipated, but they were taken care of.” 

“Then how the hell ya get that?” His finger hooked in my collar pulling it to expose the angry red slash.

“Son of a bitch snuck up on me, didn’t know he had a knife till I spun and it cut straight through.” He grunted obviously not happy with the news, “I made it to the cabin though, and I hate to say it but the O’Driscoll boy saved my sorry hide.” 

“Watcha mean by that?” 

“Some bastard was hiddin’ behind the door, went to open it only to get nailed in the face fallin’ on my ass, he had a shotgun pointed right between my eyes, only the shot that went off wasn’t the one on me. The O’Driscoll boy held a smokin’ six shooter and the gunman fell dead at my feet.” 

“Oh, I’m definitely talkin’ to Dutch in the mornin’.” 

“It ain’t a big deal..” 

Arthur rounded on me, “Ain’t a big deal?!” He sneered, “You almost had your brains blown out! Ain’t a big deal my ass! And sendin’ those two bumblin’ idiots with ya, was just reckless.” He threw himself back against the pillow crossing his arms while his foot bounced.

“You worry too much.” 

“I ever tell ya you're an idiot?” 

Arthur turned his head looking in my eyes, I smiled cheekily as I responded, “Everyday.” 

“God help me.” He muttered.

“Oh, I think your gonna need somethin’ stronger than him.” Rolling over I reached under my bed pulling out a half filled tequila bottle, before shaking it and wiggling my brows at him. 

“Well, free alcohol is free alcohol. Fine.” The both of us cheers, drinking well into the night howling with laughter and sharing old memories. Even as the sun came up and the camp stirred to life, the two of us sat shoulder to shoulder, heads leaning on one another. An empty liquor bottle resting at our feet explained our current predicament, but when we woke up we just laughed and groaned in pain from the awkward sleeping position.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this we can see Dallas reveal a little more about how she really feels, while Arthur took the support position. It’s obvious that Dallas has an unhealthy coping mechanism by using humor to shadow the dark thoughts, kinda like how their both self deprecating but really do hate themselves. 
> 
> Song for this chapter - https://youtu.be/xdHUJeyjaGo

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve decided to add little details and more talking points at the end, explanations on some points or events that take place. Each chapter will end with a song that inspired or reminds me of what’s happened(just a little bonus crumb), if you have questions I’m more than happy to answer:)


End file.
